It hurts me sometimes to not write you back as soon as I see your email.  But you make me wait so long and I don't want to look desperate by not making you wait.  So I'll wait, and each day I'll wish it was the day I could write you back.  Because even though you make me wait 3 weeks, I can hardly wait 3 days.  Somehow I feel like I'm disappointing you and showing you that I'm not interested, but I fucking am and I don't want you to run off if you knew that.  It's all about power and control.  Who got the last email and has the power to return.  And right now I have it.  So why don't I feel more in control?

Don't think I don't love you.  I just want you to love me back so much that I have to play these stupid games.